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A friend of mine recently broke up with her sweetheart, but started having second thoughts about the separation. She asked me if I thought they could separate and get back together. I told her that I thought it depended on a number of things:

You often hear people today say that relationships take work, and that's true, to a point. The reality is that a lot of of us close our eyes when entering into a relationship. We totally ignore all indicators that this just isn't going to work out, and we typically cling to the sinking ship long after we should have jumped overboard.

An excellent relationship with someone you might be compatible with will require work, but not as much as if you try to force something with someone you just aren't compatible with.

You simply can't fit a square peg in a round hole and that's what many people today try to do with their relationships.

They know deep inside that this individual is not appropriate for them, but for some reason they feel the need to hang on tightly. Maybe it's the fear of starting over or being alone, but within the long run you risk being miserable instead of being happy with the most suitable person.

So to answer the question of getting back together following a breakup you've to be honest with yourself concerning the reason you broke up.

Most often when a couple breaks up it is simply because things have gone so far that it is difficult, or impossible, to fix. If you could identify an obstacle and fix it right away before the resentments and anger grows, you'd have an even better chance of saving the relationship.

Most folks are in denial and don't want to rock the boat, so they ignore the little problems and before they know it, those little problems have grown into big problems, and by then it's often too late.

If you've broken up over small, generally insignificant issues, and you are both mature enough and prepared to openly discuss the issues then yes, by all means, reconcile.

But if the problems have grown too massive and the resentments have gone too deep, then it is probably best not to break up and get together again. Just learn from your faults and move on.

As painful as this may possibly be in the long run, it will be less agonizing than staying in a bad relationship. It may seriously be difficult in the beginning, so make sure you get advice on the best way to start anew by searching: is he cheating, how to meet mr right, and how to spot a cheater.

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