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Love And Dating - Do You Think You're Way Too Kind To People?

Posted by: nbaground on: January 25, 2010

Are you currently too nice to people? How can any person be "too nice"? Isn't being "nice" a good quality to have in a romantic relationship?

Yes, it's true that men and women will value niceness in other people, but if your way of being nice is usually to suppress your own personal requirements consistently, you are being too nice for your own good.

If you often put the needs of others first, as well as your own needs last, when you don't speak out when your own desires are ignored, then you're being too accommodating for your own good.

Any time you express your niceness as a sign of genuine respect, kindness and interest in another individual, it is a terrific quality to have.

Whenever the "niceness" is actually a by-product of low self-esteem, passivity, or even desperate loneliness, it may be a liability, and may make other people feel uneasy, guilty, or perhaps attract the sort of people who are willing to exploit you.

Have you ever met an individual who never ever expresses their actual preferences, opinions, or desires, even in the most minuscule matters? When a person asks them, "Where would you like to go tonight?" they reply, "I don't care, anything is fine with me, where do you want to eat?"

An individual who won't state their opinion or preference may think they're being nice, but this really is not niceness, this really is a form of fearfulness, and also a lack of self-respect.

Many people develop the trait of never ever asking for what they want because they were raised in a family where expressing wants or opinions was discouraged, or perhaps disallowed.

They may have been literally taught that they should not speak up, that they shouldn't want anything for their own reasons, and that everybody else's opinion mattered over theirs did.

A young child who grew up inside a family where they weren't allowed to express their needs or opinions, could grow up believing that this is how the entire world wants them to react, even after they've develop into adults.

They might find it tough to take the initiative in any situation involving other people. They might feel uncomfortable or fearful expressing their needs. They might even feel like they're being "bad" if they ask for anything.

When you find your wishes are often being ignored, take a close look at why this really is happening and see how you can change it.

If you do not know where to begin, begin by reading the game book neil strauss. You'll be able to also take a look at the game review webpage to get suggestions from folks in the same position that you're in by searching: the game.

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